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Heck, the first time I even heard of a blow job was when I threw a party in eighth grade and my mom caught a girl going down on a guy in our basement.
She was shockingly cool about it (which is saying something: my mom was the Mom of all Moms; the woman all my friends feared, revered and secretly worshiped) and let the party play out until everyone had gone home.
There’s no good time to tell a guy you’re a virgin. So: There’s no good time to tell a guy you’re a virgin. I’m a 26-year-old woman with a college degree, a good job, an adorable duplex and no debt.
Wait until the third date and you risk being considered a tease. Perhaps, but at this point you’re both still fretting over whether or not to eat another piece of bread; delving into sexual histories (or lack thereof) seems a bit extreme. I should be better at sharing this bit of information by now.
Some fake acceptance — and then bail a few dates later.
And some truly give celibacy their best shot before breaking down and, yep, bailing. At the time of The Chat, Boy One and I had been on two official dates, but had liked each other for a lot longer.
Despite what you may think, abstaining has not made me a miserable, lonely, pleasure-deprived shell of a person. In fact, I’m all for sex — from what I’ve heard, it’s fantastic! Right now, however, I appreciate — and even take pride in — my virginity. Not in an “I’m better than them” way, but in the same way that being taller than most makes someone unique, or having two different-colored eyes.Then all hell broke loose — at least that’s how it seemed to my eighth-grade, never-been-kissed self.She sat me down at the kitchen table, folded her hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Let’s talk about oral sex.” I’d thought the birds-and-bees talk was painful; this was torture.What’s more, I’m an obnoxiously picky person who avoids letting go of control, being vulnerable and making mistakes at all costs — a by-the-book Type-A perfectionist.The longer I go without sex, the more build-up there is: the more anxiety and curiosity, fear and desire, anticipation and uncertainty.